The First Rainbow I See Will Be The Last

Okay not just any one! You little people of no lives.

Yes you! You know who you are!

OK, so we used to be friends and now you think that you can still keep tabs on me? GET OVER IT!

I apologise, little girls, that my page isn't "MCR enough" but lets be honest - I'm taking my A LEVELS! I have a life and it no longer revolves around the colour of Gerard Way's pubes this week. By the way, everything gets back to me at some point so la de da!

And you, other one (aka Original No-Lifer Saddo)... You too can get off my page as well. I don't care about what you think of me anymore and I don't think what I write has anything to do with you. I know I certainly don't try and find your Myspace or Facebook or Match.com profiles and I don't want to. You know why? Because I DON'T FRIGGING CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR LITTLE MIRAGE OF AN EXISTENCE.

I ain't changing my profile to private cos I don't want to and you can't change my mind. On anything.

So turn off the computer (which really isn't the window into my life) and get on with your GCSEs/A levels.

 

FUCK YOOOOOUU!

Matthew Mitcham is gay!

For one day I actually liked a blonde guy and then he turned out to be gay!!!

I knew he was too nice to be a real straight man. But I thought that it was just that he was Australian.

Ahh, well. He's still very lovely. I ain't homophobic. Hell no. And he beat the Chinese. Nice.

Damn it! Back to Milo Ventimiglia now then.

Yeah. That's all I gotta say on the matter.

Bitches.

My Chemical Romance are going to cover 'Desolation Row' by Bob Dylan for the soundtrack of the 'Watchmen' film! Whoop!

 

I love Bob Dylan. He's a legend. I adore MCR. I am EXCITED!

 

So, they were apparently considering covering 'All Along The Watchtower' but decided not to because it would be both too obvious and too difficult to top considering the previous cover. (No kidding, I saw Dylan live; he played that song and it was as if he was covering Hendrix. It was totally cool. He does rule.)

 

So "Desolation Row'. Do they know it's ten minutes long??? Ahh well, they covered it onstage right and shortened it... They'll do it and it will be amazing!

 

One thing: who will play harmonica??? Gerard!? LOL!

 

And the best thing is... The Guardian's website said that if MCR were covering Dylan, the least he could do in return would be to do a cover of 'Helena'!

 

Come on Bob - give it a thought!

Some of my mother's classic one liners.

On that fact that MFI do not deliver the furniture they sell:

'People that buy things from MFI are masochists.'

On Gerard Way:

Me: 'Don't you think he's kinda cute?'  Mum: 'No'  Me: 'Why?'  Mum: 'Amy, he's a dickhead.'  Me: 'But sometimes he snorts when he laughs...'  Mum: 'Yeah, that's cute.'

'You know they locked him in that basement.'

When Wikipedia reported Gerard Way's death in a car accident:

'I  bet Mikey wrote it.'

On Sarah Jessica Parker having her mole removed:

Me: 'Sarah Jessica Parker's had a mole removed.'  Mum: 'You sure it's not that a mole has had a Sarah Jessica Parker removed?'

On New Jersey voting:

'Can you vote in prison?'

 

That's the few quotes I'm gonna post but I just want to mention that the woman is quite clearly a closet MCR fan. This is because she once did an amazing impression of the Breakfast Monkey and can sing Bob Bryar's Solo Project. Often.

 

Right, this weekend I was flicking through a few British broadsheet newspapers and I was struck by a few things that I feel I need to write about. This isn't going to be interesting but I need to document it for my own peace of mind.

1) Some guy called Max Mosley has sued a British tabloid newspaper, The News Of The World (oh yes, that newspaper with such high standards of journalism!) for an article they wrote in which they said that he participated in Nazi-themed S&M orgies with prostitutes. And then he blamed the newspaper for the breakdown of his marriage. Now I don't know a lot of things (and Mr. Mosley can sue me if he likes for what I am about to write but I have no money and I don't care. I don't think he'll find out anyway. He's not really down with the kids.) but one thing I do know is that if you are hiring prostitutes, it might be that that would bring about the end of your marriage and not the fact that you were found out. If he had never have hired them and engaged in, let's face it (despite the film 'The Night Porter') a still very much taboo act, there would never have been anything for these people to write about. And then taking them into court about the issue and having the facts mulled over again can do no good at all. Did he not see this? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. But why were these people that wrote the article surprised (or the jury)? This man is the son of a man (Oswald Mosley) who tried to bring the Third Reich to England during the rise of Hitler in the 1930s. I think he put an end to his unwise love of Fascism when England went to war against the Nazis - anyway, it never caught on here. Probably too lazy to keep our arms in the air for to long. I don't know... And his mother and his aunt actually spent a lot of time with Hitler himself. His aunt, Unity Mitford was obsessed with Nazism to the extent that when he sent her home from Germany because of the outbreak of war, she was so upset that she shot herself in the head, survived (WTF??? but true!) and then told some people in England that she stayed with (such good people to take in a mad Nazi sympathiser with a bullet lodged in her skull) that she was carrying the child of the Fuhrer herself. And Mr. Mosley is not connected to Nazism in any way. What crap!

2) Somebody has been going through Franz Kafka's bookshelves and has shockingly found some porn. Kafka was this loner guy that lived with his mother practically all his life and never left his room. Of course, the fact that he wrote a book or two during his solitude in his bedroom probably didn't lead his parents to suspect anything but what else did they think he was doing??? And people in the literary world are apparently shocked by the fact that he had porn...

3) Our Prime Minister is a man who was not elected in a democratic way but got the seat due to an agreement he made while having lunch with the former P.M. in an oyster bar (oysters? Two men? Homo-erotic subtext?) fifteen years ago, he has cocked up his job already after a year (the country is facing a recession) and it is his holiday clothes that make people think about what this man is like and that he is lacking in some way! But then, you look around and you think, 'Well, who else can do it?' cos they are all idiotic twats. Apart from maybe David Cameron. He has nice hair.

4) The government has made a name for me. Well not me alone. Young people like me but I am included. I am a NEET. This stands for Not in Education, Employment or Training. They probably think that the likes of youth like me are, if female, pregnant and binge-drinking, or, if male, knife-weilding maniacs. They are but that's another thing altogether. Well, for your information, I am in education but I think that I am allowed two and a half months off (considering I'll never get the chance again until I'm waiting to die) because I am FUCKING EXHAUSTED DUE TO THE MOUNT OF UNNECCESSARY WORK THAT I WAS MADE TO DO! Normal people doing their exams do eight subjects. Eight. Eight? I would have loved eight! Eight would have been easy - a walk in the park, if you will. Me? I did eleven. Only a difference of three, right? Not so. Those three subjects are the difference between an afternoon eating ice-cream and trying to remember your German speaking exam to the point that you get a migraine, overdose on painkillers, miss your exam and spend the rest of your day in a metaphorical pit of self-loathing and despair. All because some Deputy Head said 'Why don't you do both? You're smart!' Well that arsehole moved onto another school before I stated my studies in these subjects and didn't get to see the treat of my hair thinning and my skin gaining more spots than Britney Spears on her junk-food diet. And these people have te nerve to call me a NEET? Well, I am neat. I'm very neat. And they can fuck off!

Right, I feel better now. Sorry about that.

I'm meant to be getting ready to go out but I just thought I'd leave this little tale.

I was walking to the bus stop along a main road that appears to only be used by buses and single male drivers, half of which driving lorries.

Now, I don't know what it is about me (I'm not jaw-droppingly hot or anything) but this about the tenth time I've been by myself and some A-hole has driven past me and beeped their horn at me.

I may consider this some sort of weird compliment if it was from say, a young emo who had recently passed his driving test, but the fact that they are discusting old perverts that spent far too much time alone in those little cabins of their's, it creeps me out. Majorly.

Thankfully, I know how to respond to blokes that haven't spoken to women apart from their mothers so I turned round and gave him the finger. Sure, he probably didn't see but I felt I gained the upper hand in showing other drivers that I shall not be humiliated but such barrrrrstards.

Anyway, felt like a bitch about that. Any of you girls had it happen to you?

As of yesterday at 2.50pm I officially finished my last exam. That's right. I am FREE!

Yes, I am. I don't have to step foot back in that school for at least 3 months. And I may have failed all my exams and they won't let me back in anyway but... I'm FREE!!!

For the next few months I can enjoy the following things:

• Watching the full fortnight of Wimbledon in comfort.
• Going for picnics! (Also known as eating flies.)
• Drawing pretty pictures of My Chem.
• Writing copious amounts of crappy fanfiction.
• Learn bass (I keep saying it and yet I have a horrible feeling it isn't going to happen.)
• Power 4 sleepovers (why didn't I put that at the top, silly girl)
• NOT getting a job. That's right. They can't make me!
• Read many many books!

And possibly a whole lot of other things.

But one thing I definitely don't have to do is GO TO SCHOOL!

And it is going to rule!

Okay, I love them. Have done since last April. And last Saturday I finally got to see them live. And trust me, when they come back to England, I'm gonna be there! They totally 100% rule.

I mean, sure My Chem rule in their hard-rock grrr-ness and MSI have their kick-ass choruses but Max Bemis' lyrics are so good at telling stories. They just strike a chord with me, I guess.

I'm sounding like a goon but hear me out. Here's some examples:

Alive With The Glory Of Love - Based on the real story of Max's grandparents, its about two people in love in a concentration camp during the Second World War.

The Church Channel - A guy goes insane again and ends up in an institute where he falls in love with a girl, depicted by Hayley Williams.

Slumming It With Johnny - A guy goes on a road-trip with his mate Johnny and documents what he sees and then compares it to what it's like when he returns home.

The Ocean Liner Incident - A guy meets a girl on an ocean liner and has manic sex with her whilst they remain to be strangers to one another.

You see? Awesome. What's not to love?

Me Vs. The Heroes (Slam Dunk Festival, Leeds University, 25th May 2008) - Saw the last few songs of their set and figured they were okay. They just seemed like any other English band. I can be a bit of a snob though. However, I saw a guy I knew moshing to them so they must be awesome or something. I ain't sure.

Valencia (Slam Dunk Festival, Leeds University, 25th May 2008) - Whoa, I love this band now. Managed to get to see the vast majority of their set and was just hit by how good they are. Also managed to get their album from the merch stand for seven quid instead of ten so that was a result. The song, 'The Space Between' is amazing and everyone should check them out. I do love them.

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Slam Dunk Festival, Leeds University, 25th May 2008) - I only know a few songs by them (and they are the obvious ones too) but I was happy to be seeing them. The place was packed for their set and I'm sure I would have enjoyed it did I not have a couple making out infront of me and the guy's elbow in my face all the way through the set. 'Face Down' was a crowd-pleaser despite how much the lead singer of the band made it obvious to us that he did not want to play it.

youmeatsix (Slam Dunk Festival, Leeds University, 25th May 2008) - I really do quite like youmeatsix. They're a good band. The crowd was really ruckus at this point and I am glad I got a good seat on a window ledge to watch them. However, I only embarrassed myself when Slam Dunk was over by nearly tripping the entire band up by being retarded and according to my mates, they gave me proper dirty looks. Personally, I don't give a shit. They won't remember and they probably won't give me a chance to remind me. Otherwise, a great set by a great band that I was excited to see.

Cute Is What We Aim For (Slam Dunk Festival, Leeds University, 25th May 2008) - I was majorly excited about seeing CIWWAF. I have their album and nearly all of it was in my Top 25 Most Played for six months after buying it. They were the one band that I was truly excited about seeing. However, the lead singer Shaant (who I personally believe is the embodiment of the band) was 3000 miles away due to a problem with his passport. So instead the new bassist (is that their third???) Dave stepped in. He did a good job all things considered (no Shaant, new songs) but it wasn't what I had been wanting to see. Things only truly picked up when Josh from youmeatsix (the one I tripped up...) stepped in as vocals on the song 'Doctor'. Anyway, every cloud and that, because after their set, me and my best friend sat in the window of the Union bar and Jeff Czum walked past so we waved at him and he gave us the peace sign. What a nice young man.

The Outline (Manchester Academy 3, 7th June 2008) - I knew two songs by them at the time (last night!), 'Shotgun' and the one with the weird video. Anyway, they blew me away and even more so when I went to buy merch and the lead singer was fresh from the stage seeing his own merch for made up prices. I bought their album and later got it signed by the hilarious drummer and very nice guitarist. The album's really good and I hope to see them again sometime.

Twin Atlantic (Manchester Academy 3, 7th June 2008) - The only song I actually knew by them was their cover of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' (which, by the way, is awesome). However, they were great. They didn't get me quite like The Outline did but they did a great set and I immediately went to buy their EP. It was there that I met the very nice lead singer, Sam. He signed the album with a personal message and even listened to my mini review of my home town (I really shouldn't be allowed to meet people from bands, at all). Since listening the four tracks on the EP today, they have truly grown on me and they are a band that I hope to see get bigger in time.

Say Anything (Manchester Academy 3, 7th June 2008) - OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!! I was so fucking excited. I have 99 songs by them on my iPod, I ordered both of their real albums from America, I have been wanting to see them since last April. Fourteen months later and with only five minutes before they came onstage, I was literally bouncing off the walls. I don't know how my friends put up with me. They opened with 'Alive With The Glory Of Love' and ended with 'Admit It'. It was so amazing. It was a gig that literally flew by. Every minute felt like a second. I nearly cried when it finished. And fuck it. i'm gonna go see them again. I don't care if no-one will come with me. Oh my God, it was so effing good! They played 'Baby Girl, I'm A Blur', 'The Church Channel', 'Skinny Mean Man' and 'Shiksa (Girlfriend)' from the new album and older songs such as 'The Writhing South', 'Belt', 'Woe' and 'Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too' from their previous album. Max joked often ("So you know the new album? You illegally downloaded it? You belong in jail. No, I'm joking. If that was true, I'd be a fucking prison bitch by now.") I FUCKING LOVE IT! Come back soon please, Maxim.

Finished:

 

German Speaking Exam

Maths Paper One

English Literature

Biology

German Listening

Business Studies Paper One

 

To go:

 

A Lot!

Ahhhhhhhhhh bring on June 16th...

My Chem are dealt all this shit from the Daily Mail (how can the people that write for them call themselves journalists? They never do research! I've worked in journalism - admittantly only for a week but I know how it works now - and that is not how you write an article! Anyway, I deviate...) and now there's going to be a march of angry yet peaceful fans in my fair country's capital.

I truly love MCR and I would give anything to be able to make it the protest and take part in something that I think is very important in showing support for not only the band but other fans and the genre. Unfortunately, even if I could afford the 150 quid plus it will take to get there and back in one day, my parents will not allow me to go for a number of reasons. It totally sucks.

It is actually breaking my heart that I can't go. I feel like the worst fan ever! I know there are probably going to be loads of other fans from the UK that also can't make it but it totally sucks.

Anyway, even if I am ultra-traumatised by not being able to go, I am delighted that there is a protest. It is time that MCR fans show that they aren't the emotionally vulnerable, trend-following idiots that the British media are trying to make suburban Middle England believe their youth are.

How come when Gerard was drunk he could hardly walk in a straight line or anything yet he could still tie a tie??? Hmm.... I ponder the answer.

 

Just cos I'm bored and can't be arsed to revise, I'll do part two now.

Templeton Pek (Leeds Met University, 23rd April 2008) - not an amazing band. They were supporting MSI. There isn't a lot to be said for them. Erm, the lead singer walked right past me after their set and I didn't notice. Watch this space, they might get big... but I doubt it.

Mindless Self Indulgence (Leeds Met University, 23rd April 2008) - so brilliant. Played songs off old and new albums and just played a simple, amazing set. Jimmy did impressions of Ville Valo and he is so funny! I was one of the two people that shouted at Lyn-Z when she walked into the venue and I still weird about it now cos she looked at me like I was mental. I am but anyway... yeah, it was awesome. Definitely another band to see live again!

Broadway Calls (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - never heard them before. Pretty good. I shall try and get someone to download some stuff by them for me. Entertaining to watch. I wouldn't see them again though until I knew more of their stuff.

Meg & Dia (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - heard them in passing before. Also pretty good. I kinda got the feeling that Juno would listen to them. My only problem with them was that the lead singer's voice was really annoying and whiney when she spoke. I'd like to hear more from them though.

Mayday Parade (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - omg omg omg omg omg. Easily one of the best bands of the night, if not the best. Even though they only played about five songs, they were amazing ones such as 'Jersey', 'When I Get You Home, You Are So Dead', 'Jamie All Over' and 'Three Cheers For Five Years', they crowd loved them and there was definitely this kind of electricity in the air when they came onstage (maybe me and my best friend were just really, really, REALLY excited about seeing them - we've liked them since last summer and this has been their first time in the UK). Plus, I got to meet them later in the day at the signing table! They were so nice. It was kinda embarassing cos I didn't know what to say so I didn't and then I got to Derek and he asked how I was and if I was having a good day and I was like 'You played a great set' and he was really grateful and... now, I'm like, in love with him!

Chiodos (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - I know some of their stuff but I really, really didn't like them live. I expected them to be something totally different. I had this feeling that they were only playing to people in moshpits and when they came onstage the lead singer called us all 'teen-boppers'. They just annoyed me. It was okay cos I was getting hungry anyway so I buggered off and had a walk around.

MC Lars (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - Didn't really catch them. I heard them from outside the arena and I wasn't really impressed. Maybe I would have thought they were good if that music was the sort I like. Anyway, they were too loud. Even outside, they gave me headache. I am so sad.

Cobra Starship (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - I purposefully missed most of their set cos I couldn't be arsed. I was sat outside the arena though and I thought I heard Bert McCracken so I ran in and (guess what?) it wasn't hm but anyway, I walked out again until they played that song from Snakes On A Plane and then I ran in and watched them play that and they were really good. Kinda sad that I missed the rest of their set now!

My American Heart (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - I really like them on record and I think 'Boys! Grab Your Guns' is a really great song but they just lacked something live. Can't put my finger on it but I was slightly disappointed. I saw their guitarist walking around backstage a lot (I had really good seats for seeing backstage) but didn't realise it was him until he went onstage. His hair got really big! It was funny to watch. They were okay though - I just don't think I'll see them live again.

Set Your Goals (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - I have a few of their songs and I wasn't really that impressed with them so I didn't expect to like them live and I was only watching them cos I was waiting for All Time Low but they were really good! I still don't like their songs but they truly were very good live. They had presence and the crowd really liked them. And Hayley Williams was watching at the side of the stage as was Jack from All Time Low and they both came onstage at some point and joined in with them. It was fun to watch. I ain't sure I'd see them again but they were good.

All Time Low (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - I was really looking forward to seeing them but I didn't stay cos I decided to go and meet Mayday Parade instead which turned out to be a very good decision as I put my head through the door to see them play and I couldn't figure out what they were playing and I love their album. Anyway, I got to meet Mayday Parade so not all bad then!

Finch (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - I wasn't really that interesting in seeing Finch but I was meeting Mayday Parade anyway so... (yey!) But anyway, we got back to our seats in time for their last few songs including 'What Is It To Burn?'. I wasn't all that impressed cos I'm not a fan but I suppose if you are then they were good. I don't wanna see them again though.

The Audition (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - I was so excited to see them live! I love their latest album and everything else I've heard by them and I bought an Audition t-shirt. They were so good (maybe even better than I'd expected). They played some of my favourites such as 'Warm Me Up', 'Edinboro', 'Hell To Sell' and 'Dance Dance Revolution' and ooohhh I love them. And I was lucky enough to be able to watch Danny Stevens backstage a lot because of my seats and it was funny watching him point at things. I got really excited early on in the day when I saw him watching Chiodos at the side of the stage and the people next to me (who didn't seem to have heard of anyone apart from Plain White T's and Paramore and were really dull) looked at me funny. Who cares? Danny Stevens was onstage!

Alkaline Trio (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - I missed the beginning of their set cos I went to buy a drink but they were very good, very professional. They played a new song called 'In Vain' that was good and they closed their set with 'Radio' which is, if I'm being honest, one of my favourite songs. So good in all!

Plain White T's (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - it pains me to say that I sat all the way through PWT's set. They were so egotistical! I hated it. To be honest, I day-dreamed all the way through it and if I wasn't doing that, I was watching the moshpits. They waltzed with each other! It was very funny to watch. But to be truthful, they deserve to die, the smarmy bastards with their stupid sunglasses. It was already dark in there! What was he wearing sunglasses for? I just wanted him to fall off the stage. And that song about revenge! What would they know about revenge? They hardly look to be the sort to lock the school gates! Anyway....

Paramore (Give It A Name, Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 11th May 2008) - I was also very excited to see this band as I've liked them since their early days in Kerrang! and they didn't disappoint in anyway. They played a good mix of songs from both of their albums and they were very entertaining. Not only that but they had a lot of people from backstage watching their set. I really enjoyed them and hopefully, I may get to see them again at some point!

That's it but as there is Slam Dunk Festival next Sunday, watch this space!

So I haven't been to many but here we go!

Thursday (Manchester MEN Arena, 24th March 2007) - an amazing band. When I saw them supporting MCR I wasn't that interested cos I didn't really know them and I just wanted them gone so that the main men would come onstage but even then I realised that they were awesome live. I wish I'd paid more attention cos they played songs that are now some of my favourite such as 'Understanding In A Car Crash' and 'Counting 5-4-3-2-1'. I am definitely interested in seeing them live again should they ever decide to visit England again.

My Chemical Romance (Manchester MEN Arena, 24th March 2007) - they were okay... At the time I was seriously hyped about going and it was my first gig and I had been waiting since October to see them so I obviously thought they were ultra-amazing. However... I dunno. It was just a fairly typical Black Parade tour gig. Gerard said some funny things and stuff but yeah, aside from that... Still good though. I'm just being picky.

Bob Dylan (Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 14th April 2007) - a little trip out with my mother! Oh my god! I love Bob Dylan. He is a fucking legend. A lot thinner in real life than I would have thought but what can you do? He seriously needs a good feed. But aside from his lack of body mass he was amazing and played some classics such as 'My Backpages' and 'It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding' as well as new stuff such as 'When The Deal Comes Down' and "Thunder On The Mountain'. AND in the encore he played 'Like A Rolling Stone' and 'All Along The Watchtower' only he played the latter like the cover by Jimi Hendrix. It was literally awesome. Slightly ruined by the pricks that work at the arena yelling at people being stood up they didn't deserve to live.

Mindless Self Indulgence (Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 13th November 2007) - another awesome band I saw live cos they supported My Chem (but, let's face it, we all know why they were supporting them!). I liked them before I saw them live (although admittantly, not before Gerard married Lyn-Z) and they were really very good. Even though they weren't onstage as long as I would have liked, they did play some amazing stuff that should one day be included on a greatest hits compilation such as 'Clarissa', 'Bitches' and 'Straight To Video'. Gotta say though, I was kinda glad when they left the stage cos me and my mate were getting some odd looks from the hardcore My Chem fans sat near us cos we were enjoying them so much!

My Chemical Romance (Sheffield Hallam FM Arena, 13th November 2007) - oh yes, I've seen them twice. And it won't be the last time. They better do some new schizz soon, bitches. But this time they were amazing. So good. Oh my god. They came out playing 'Stay' and they even played 'Headfirst For Halos'. And they only had three of their real men. Unless you count Matt Cortez cos I reckon he kinda counts as a member of My Chem. I mean, he's done a lot of shows... Anyway, they were very good. and Gerard got me and my best friend kinda obsessed with saying the word 'Capiche?' lol. AND he nearly made me cry (so pathetic but unfortunately true!). It aint't my fault if during the guitar solo of 'Sleep', he goes on about how he loves us and doesn't wanna leave. It made me sad. But Toro screaming into the mic at the end of 'Famous Last Words' is perhaps one of the greatest things I have ever seen. He just threw his guitar down and was screaming! It was amazing! Anyway.... I love them.

And I think that finishes part one. I've seen more but I don't wanna brag too much so I'll do it another time!

Everything's strange at the moment. On one hand I am deeply depressed about a number of things - I ain't gonna say what cos to be honest, I don't want to publish it on the internet and I'm trying very hard not to think about it - but then I'm also esctatic about a number of things too.

I have major exams coming up and while I know that I only have to get 5 A to C grades, I'm petrified that I'm gonna get scared and mess up in my exams no matter how much revision I do.

But then I'm really excited cos I'm going to see Mindless Self Indulgence in about 5 days. And then I'm going to Give It A Name to see some of my favourite bands. And then I'm going to Slam Dunk Festival. All in the space of about 5 weeks. Awesome!

Can I please get some resolve and just be happy? I know I'll just have to keep optimistic and ride it out and then it will be summer. And that means a hell of a lot of time off school with my best friends being happy. Hopefully. Oh fuck knows what will happen. I just hope i get everything sorted in my head soon.

I really shouldn't be mad about this. I mean, I still got an ace mark. A mark that this time last year I never would have thought I could get in Textiles. I'm very proud of my work. The thing is that I was really mad when I got my grade yesterday but I thought it would fade if I slept on it and gave it time to sink in, I'd feel better about it and NOT want to KILL the retarded woman that marked my work.

The thing is that I worked so fucking hard on that stupid pashmina. I might not have at the beginning but by the end I was fucking commited. For God's sake, I spent an ENTIRE weekend fucking handsewing every fucking bead and sequin onto it. That is no exaggeration. Literally, 6 hours a day sewing. Imagine the pain. The boredom. I woke up once at 5am to do sewing. I stayed in during lunch to do it. I didn't eat to do it. I worked fucking hard. So get this:

The mark I got was 83 out of 105. That's what I mean when I say I'm proud of it cos it's a damned good mark. It's a very good B. Only 4 marks off an A. But WHERE THE FUCK IS MY A!!!!???

And here's the bit that really gets me. My work looks good. My work looks fucking good. My work looks fucking hot. I'm so happy with how awesome it looks that I've posted a picture of it here. I think it looks amazing. But my mate (yes, you people on Buzznet that know me in real life are going to know who I'm tlaking about when I say this: I fucking despise her and everything about her!) made a crappy looking top. Sure, it possibly used loads of amazing skills or whatever, but I've seen it and it ain't good. She's put nowhere near as much time into her work as I have into mine. Yeah, the skills give you marks but I don't see that she's done them well. The material she used was cheap looking and nasty. It just ain't that good. But what did she get? Oh my God.... 101 out of 105. What the fuck?

When she found out what I got (and trust me, I didn't want to tell her) she was like, 'That's really good.' No it ain't. I deserve way better. When she told me what she got (literally, 5 minutes ago. I was so mad, I had to write this to get it out of my system) I wanted to cry at how unfair it is and I still do.

And you know why it's unfair? Because the same teacher marked both pieces of work. She likes my mate way more than me no matter the quality of our work and that is why our marks differ so greatly. End of. Not Fair.

Got this off my dear friend thehopelessone!

Ten songs that cheer me up are:

1) Bring The Pineapple by Mindless Self Indulgence

2) Skeletor/Beastman by Gnarkill

3) Razorblade Kiss by HIM

4) At This Velocity by Thursday

5) Today by Smashing Pumpkins

6) Funny Little Frog by Belle and Sebastian

7) Astro Zombies by My Chemical Romance

8) Jessie And My Whetstone by Saves The Day

9) This Could Be Anywhere In The World by Alexisonfire

10) That Time by Regina Spektor

So a certain someone I know (yes, you, thehopelessone) told me that they enjoy the journals I write. That's because, dear, you are the only person that reads them. So this is for you.

Erm, I don't have anything to say.

'Misery' is a dang good book. When I finish it I will pass it on to you. And then you can read it. It may take a while though when you consider that I am reading the following books:

1) Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier

2) Moab Is My Washpot by Stephen Fry

3) Misery by Stephen King

4) Marie Antoinette by Antonia Fraser

5) Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger

6) New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

and last but not least

7) Industrial Magic by Kelley Armstrong

So good luck with ever reading Misery.